I have been thinking a lot about what being in a community is really all about. How do you become a part of a community? When do you begin to feel connected to that community? As a Pastor in a church I want the people who attend our church to feel a part of a community. I want them to feel connected and a part of something great. I am surrounded by many people who are connected and fulfilled in our community, but there are also those who cannot seem to “break” in.
It fascinates me as to why one person can become interested in an organization, church or cause and either quickly or eventually connect to that cause in a significant way and then there are others who seem to try every which way and still end up feeling on the outside.
First of all I think that no community can make a person feel something they don’t believe about themselves. If you don’t believe you are valuable or significant or that you have something to offer others then no one else is going to be able to make you feel that about yourself. They may be able to do it for a little while, they may be able to speak to your potential and help you to see that you have wonderful gifts and strengths to offer but at some point you have to choose to believe it for yourself in order to thrive in that community. Your significance or worth cannot be tied up in what others say or do.
So what is it then? The more I thought about this the more I realized that there is more than one answer to this question. We are all looking for acceptance from the community we desire to be a part of. We want to be accepted for who we are and where we are at. We want to feel important, valuable and significant. On top of those common heart felt needs we all come into a community looking for different things. Some people are looking for friendship, some people are looking to be challenged, some are looking to be encouraged, some need support, some need help,some are looking for training, some are looking for knowledge, the list is endless because we are all so unique.
This post is the start of a little series on community. I hope to help you get more deeply connected into the community you are a part of. If you feel like you are on the outside or if you feel like you are already connected there is always room for growth in our relationships with others.
Other than the need to be loved, accepted and valued what else are you looking for in the community you are a part of? Have you found it?
Tomorrow’s Post is “What is community all about?”
Interesting Topic. Why is it so hard for some? There is a void in all of us that only God can fill. Most of the time that process of getting the void filled requires someone with skin on! We all need someone to love us, to feel any sense of belonging or fullfillment, whether its to love what others can do for them, or what they can do for others. The doers will feel a sense of belonging faster than the ones who need the doing but both will eventually get disappointed in other people because only God can really fill the void in our heart that belongs only to Him. Any Organization or Church can provide the place for relationships to build, but only those who are committed to the One who started the relationship cycle (our creator) will build on something that will last forever. The Church will provide that ongoing process with its challenges, and also unconditional love. In every Church there will be the wheat and the tares, growing together to produce a wonderful harvest! The Life Centre is harvesting wonderful fruit and really knows how to build a community. I would recommend it to anyone who has never felt a sense of belonging because their teaching always deal with life issues and know how to make people feel valued. Keep up the good work!
Great post! I love the thought that no community can make a person feel something they don’t believe about themselves and that you have to choose to believe it for yourself in order to thrive in that community.
The two most important things that would draw me into and keep me in a community is authenticity and safety.There’s nothing worse than being around people who are not willing to share their imperfections and be real, and being around people who cannot be trusted with the information you share.