“Fillers”

We were all created with a desire for something more. We were created with a longing to be a part of something greater than ourselves. We search throughout our entire life for the "plain of enlightenment" that will bring us the fulfillment and satisfaction our very soul longs for.  Many people don’t even know what they want or need, they just sense there has to be more.

Throughout our lives we get the cues from culture about what these fulfilling things might be. We see people in a relationship together so we think, that’s what I need. I need to find a partner, a soul mate, someone to share my life with, and then I will be fulfilled like they are.

For some the honeymoon lasts longer than for others. For some the honeymoon phase of a relationship lasts for months and others it’s for years but eventually the honeymoon ends and dissatisfaction creeps in. Why doesn’t he lock the door before we go to bed? Why does he leave his socks on the floor? Why does she leave the water dripping after she brushes her teeth?  Why does she leave her used Kleenex on the nightstand? These questions are just the seeds of dissatisfaction brewing, but then the questions get bigger… Why does he shut down every time I try to talk to him about something important… so and so’s husband is so sensitive? Why is he so disinterested in Spiritual things? I wish he was more like so and so’s husband… he is so passionate about Spiritual Growth, I wish our marriage was like theirs.  Why is she always on me about something? Why can’t she just leave me alone? Why does she wear sweats all the time? Why doesn’t she take care of herself anymore? So and so’s wife always looks good… I wish she would just loose that baby weight?

Dissatisfaction in our relationships is so dangerous. It leads us away from each other and sets our focus on what others have. We constantly look for things in TV, movies, books and friends to support what we wish we had.  Most of the time these dissatisfactions are not spoken in marriage but they are felt every day.  They stay in the mind and begin to destroy the fabric of the relationship. They are not shared because we would never want to hurt our spouse or partner like that so they fester and grow into huge disappointments.

It’s then that we realize that what we thought would totally fulfill us, in fact does not. It’s then that we realize the reality of being married or in a relationship is not what we thought it was going to be.  That the reality of the dream does not bring us the satisfaction and fulfillment that we thought it would.  And instead of turning to the one who can truly satisfy we get our cues from the people around us and decide what the next filler will be.