Introduction to Sex and Singleness

In February we did a series at church called Love Life where we discussed different elements of relationships.  Many of the principles we talked about are transferable to any relationships but much of the discussion came from the perspective of marriage. With the very sad state that marriage is in in the year 2008 with most marriages ending in divorce, more and more couples choosing common law and same sex relationships, it’s quite fair to say there is a crisis in finding healthy covenantal marriages.

However another reality of 2008 due to this epidemic is there are more people who find themselves single. There are single people who are not dating and haven’t dated in a long time. There are single people who date a lot but have never been married.  There are single people who have been in long term common law relationships who now find themselves single again, there are those who have been married and are now divorced and single. 

These single people are a growing group due to the crisis we see in the institute of marriage and as a married person I do not know what it’s like to be single and I am not going to pretend that I do.  We all get turned off when people try to talk about something they really know nothing about. You know people who have never had kids but try to give parenting tips based on what they have seen other parents do.
However I want to attempt to talk to people who are single because I have a deep care and admiration for those who are. I have many friends who are single and I love each one so much. I do not intend to give tips on how to stay pure as a single person, however I do desire to encourage those who desire purity sexually, to walk with you and hold up your hands. I hope to start a conversation with those who are single or those who know others who are single, a conversation that may not have a specific end, a conversation that you can continue with others and with God to figure out how to win in the area of sexuality as a follower of Christ based on what we do know from the teachings of scripture.

Sexuality and being single is a topic that does not get much attention except for… don’t have any sex and suppress what sexuality you do have until you are married.  I am not sure that is helpful for the 28 year old single man, or the 31 year old woman who hasn’t dated in a while, or the 45 year old divorcee who really misses sex, or even the 60 year old widower who longs to be touched intimately.

The Bible is clear about some things and not as clear about others when it comes to sex. The Bible is very clear about sex outside of marriage. It’s called fornication. That word is used often in the King James translation of the Bible and refers to the act of intercourse outside of marriage. Fornication has been replaced by the words sexually immoral in translations like NIV, NAS and ESV.  Galatians 5 and Ephesians 5 both talk about how the sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. So it’s pretty safe to say with clarity that sex outside of covenantal marriage will lead to pain and separation from God and that is in fact sin according to the Bible.

Just as we say to married couples that God created you to be a sexual being, so the same is true for those who are not married and especially true for those who are not married but desire to be married. So what do you do with the sexual part of how you were created if you are not able to purely express that part of who you are?

Tomorrow’s Post we’ll talk about Masturbation. Is Masturbation a healthy way to express your sexuality?