I feel a little misunderstood if anyone walked away from my post on Not Being Defined By Motherhood and thought I was coming from a Christian Feminist perspective, as one commenter felt. I am not a feminist but I do believe that God uses women mightily. I have seen to many women who have believed that being a Mother was all they were and they never found their purpose. Their kids are old and moved away and they still believe they have nothing to offer God or His world or feel like they must wait until their kids leave so they can really serve God in a greater capacity. Many other women are waiting for their “calling” to begin because they are not yet Mothers. Some of them are struggling through infertility and some of them are single and waiting for their life to really begin. I was one of those women. I got married young and all I ever wanted was to be a Mom and my husband didn’t share my passion for children. We waited a torturous 5 years to have kids. I waited for my purpose for all those years believing it was going to be fulfilled through Motherhood.
That’s when I think that we have believed a lie that my purpose was to be a Mother. My calling from God was not dependent on me having children, I always knew that I would be a Mother but I didn’t always know that being a Mother wasn’t the full measure of my calling. When I had my kids it fulfilled the dream of my life. Then more dreams started to come. I want my kids to be dreamers like me. I want them to have huge dreams and believe that they are going to change the world one person at a time. And I want them to believe that because they have seen Mom and Dad passionate about the world and offering our strengths to see God’s kingdom furthered on earth. I also want my kids to know that the world does not revolve around them and that Mom and Dad’s world does not revolve around them. Our calling is not dependent upon our children, it solely dependent on God. However that being said… does not compromise the care we invest in our kids as Mothers.
My life experiences and adventure in Christ has lead me to where I am today and I believe I am called to help people discover who God has created them to be and what He has called them uniquely to do. I am going to use the influence that God has given me to grow people with Jesus and others. My kids included, my kids will be constant recipients of my purpose in God…
We have to decide what’s best for us based on the vision God has given us for our lives, a vision that must line up with Scripture. If getting out of the house and getting more education is part of God’s vision for your life as a women then do it. If staying at home to raise your kids is part of God’s vision for your life then do that with confidence no matter what others say. The key is let God’s vision dictate your choices not money, or what others think, or what others say.
I am who I am when I am at home with my kids, when I am on the phone with a friend, when I am emailing you and when I am preaching the gospel. And that is the best gift I can give my kids… Knowing who God has made me to be and walking in the fullness of my destiny in God.
The conclusion in Tomorrow’s Post…
“The key is let God’s vision dictate your choices not money, or what others think, or what others say.” —–AMEN!!!
Great blog Lori.
As a Natural Health Practitioner (and a mom) I would say that 85% of my clientele are women, and a very high percentage of these women are seeing me because of hormonal challenges due to high stress levels often caused by unbalanced lifestyle habits and “unfulfilled expectations”. I see women that are stressed out, exhausted, and unhappy. (I also see children that are angry, sad, have communication issues and feel disconnected.) These stressed out moms work fulltime, try to raise their kids, try to keep a clean house, and still feel incomplete and unhappy. And then what do we do to help make us feel better and relaxed? Well, we go out for a well deserved social outing and again the kids get babysat. (The guilt grows and the vicious circle continues.)
I do believe that many mothers are meant to fulfill more than just the one calling and having said that, I also strongly believe that for the first few years of a babies’ life her calling is to be the primary care giver and the father/husband should lovingly encourage this. I understand that single moms often just can’t afford to do this and this is unfortunate both for the child and for the mother. But for those who do have the father there and can choose to stay home even if that means they will lose their “employment status”, well then the children should come first.
Question: Is one of the reasons so many women do not stay home to raise their children because of a lack of recognition regarding their role as a mother? Is it lack of information and ignorance towards the importance of this role? and/or is it simply because we have become a self-centered society and are not willing to go without the financial goodies that is only made possible with 2 incomes? Hmmm…
And MAYBE the number 1 topic should not be centered around the moms, but should be directed towards the children. Shouldn’t our first consern be our children? What’s good for them? Is “god’s calling” for women affecting His children? Are we using this as a way to get out of our responsibilities as parents?
Don’t get me wrong, I do encourage women while raising their children, to be involved in some part-time activities that develops their talents and passions, I just feel that things have become overwhelmingly imbalanced and that to many children are left with others to care for them. I see it every week, our children lack the loving attention and consistant discipline that should come from the parents, not babysitters or school teachers.
My passion is to see moms, dads and kids live healthy and fullfilling lives as happy families.
I’m with you. Nothing else to add. You’ve said it.
Thank You and Amen….
Found your blog today and am so thankful I did. I’m also a pastor’s wife. I couldn’t agree with your post more! Very well said.
I’ll be back for future visits.
Found your blog today and am so thankful I did. I’m also a pastor’s wife. I couldn’t agree with your post more! Very well said.
I’ll be back for future visits.
Found your blog today and am so thankful I did. I’m also a pastor’s wife. I couldn’t agree with your post more! Very well said.
I’ll be back for future visits.
Sorry for the duplicate comments
Not sure what happened!
Awesome post, Lori… I’m with you 100%.
xo
I always value your comments and views. This one is no exception. I agree with you. I am a woman who is many things but no ONE thing defines me. Keep writing! There are many cheering you on!!!
I hear you on this one. There are 17 waking hours in my day for me to be many types of women. I don’t think it would be fair to raise my 4 daughters letting them think that my 17 hours a day are all about them. I mother them and homeschool them. But I am also a wife, lead a kids class at church, have my own church activities, and my own interests and ministry work. And every night at 9:00 I tell the kids “You stay in bed, because Mom has to do her work now. I want to get to bed by 3:00 this morning.” I am definitely not a feminist. I am a woman that is passionate about being all that she can be for God and her family.
Maybe you are a feminist. So what? Would that be so horrible? I don’t understand why Christians are so scared of the word feminist? If I’m a feminist because I believe that women deserve the opportunity to contribute to society and pursue their passions on a level playing field, then fine, call me a feminist. In fact, call me whatever you want. It really doesn’t matter. Sure there are “feminists” that take this to an extreme just like their are Christians who take their beliefs to an extreme. This shouldn’t negate the original intentions and the many positives of the movement. Don’t forget that these “horrible feminists” we so despise are the same women who paved the way for people like you to have the opportunity to minister in a church.