Making a list of what you want in a mate is not hard. It not that hard to think of things we want other people to be. If I were to sit
and make a list of all I want Jason to be, that would
not be hard. It’s easy for me to focus on his flaws… (all two of them:) Love ya honey flaws and all) in fact God just
spoke to me about this. While on my daily walk, I was listening to a
talk by Andy Stanley and I was thinking… Oh Jason really needs to
listen to this, Oh Jason would really benefit from this talk and then
it hit me… I was listening to the whole talk thinking about how it
would help Jason and I missed what God was trying to speak to me about.
Thankfully I caught myself in time and I repented for trying to impose
my will onto him. In doing that I almost missed what God was trying to
speak to me and then I realized that I needed to hear this talk even
more than Jason.
God quickened to my heart if I can get this principle under submission
to God in my own life that will benefit Jason and the Ministry that he
does. He will feel the effects of the change in my life. And that is
exactly what I am getting at here. If I work on me… consequently it
will affect Jason for the good. If you work on you… it will affect
your future for the good and that includes your future relationships
and marriage.
The more we focus on the problems of others, the flaws in others the more flaws there really are inside of us that we are avoiding. The more we surrender our thoughts, opinions and judgments to God the less flaws we see in the people around us. So keep surrendering, keep working on you, keep growing, and keep being all God has created you to be and you watch… your life will be fuller than you ever imagined.
Do you find it hard not to see flaws in others?
Lori, I found God putting his finger on this very thing last year. I realized that I might not need to wear corrective lenses if I could keep that plank out of my eye. Goodness knows I always had a “helpful” word for others, (take my advice, I’m not using it). This year, when I notice something visually I close my eyes and look inwards. If I hear something, same thing. I’m always TRYING to surrender and allow the Spirit of God to remove that plank for me.
In the last number of years I have been surrounded by people who believe the best about everyone and speak the best about everyone. As a result, anytime I criticize it falls on deaf ears and the ‘joy’ of criticizing is removed, instead I have watched over and over as these people speak the best about others and so like anything you study, I have begun to find myself emulating that behaviour without even ‘trying’!
Isn’t it funny that EVERYONE has flaws but us? I’m a natural “fixer” of everyone’s elses life, but when it comes to me I procrastinate!!! Am I the only one who procrastinates?
As soon as I am getting upset about something I see in someone else I ask Holy Spirit to reveal to me what I have in me that needs to be changed, how to change it and the healing and strength I need to live it.
I have learned that God uses others to bless me with a reflection of myself. When the mirror is showing me something that is contrary to what Scripture teaches, it is time to look closer at my image and “get the windex out” Jesus is my most effective cleaning agent.